Your second the first is fairly healthier, even so you may still discuss with: "Why? Why does it get you to very pleased?". The basic composition in the example essay is pretty much traditional: the benefits, whole body lines, and realization. Unfortunately, it will be the concluding phrase that is the foundation of all things, for doing this affords the reader the final appearance and leaves these with a nasty aftertaste.
The way you show your topic area of the advent increases the readers the original sense. More often than not, despite the fact that probably have an optimal launch and the entire body section, you cannot presume to have a positive symbol and not using a great finalized step.